After getting out of a long-term committed relationship (almost 10 years), dating was the last thing on my mind. Instead, I went through intense therapy to find out who I was and to learn how to love myself, the good and the bad. For years, I only accepted the good and had a difficult time loving and accepting the not-so-great things about me—one of them being my cystic fibrosis (CF). I tried and did everything I could to hide that I had CF. I pretended to be as normal as I could so that no one would be able to guess there was anything wrong with me. CF, to me, was a bad thing that I felt I had to learn how to compensate for. However, after some intense therapy, I deconstructed what my idea of love was and rebuilt the love that was intended for me.
In February 2019, after a few months on a dating site (match.com), I decided that I’d go on one more date and then cancel my profile since I didn’t feel it was a good fit. On Valentine’s Day, the person I was talking to and I decided to go out; we were both single after all and decided, why not give it a try? I knew that if it didn’t work out with this person, I was going to be alright. Everything would be okay because I had built a love for myself strong enough to withstand heartbreaks and beautiful enough to stand on its own. I knew I didn’t need anyone to love me, as I now loved myself enough to know what I deserved.
Seven years later, we have a precious little girl, Gracelyn, bought a house and got married. Sometimes love works in mysterious ways; in ways that no mathematician or scientist can solve. I thought that I had found true love in my first relationship and was beyond disappointed when that ended. I thought that I could never love again. Little did I know that true love doesn’t end when a relationship stops; it continues to blossom as you allow it to grow. Love knows no bounds and has no end, and it goes as far as you allow it. Lucky for me, I found you in the roses are red and violets are blues.
So, here’s to love. May this February remind you that YOU too are deserving of the love you give others. A love that’s unconditional, a love that’s healing, a love that encourages you to rise above and beyond. A love that helps you reach for the stars and catches you when you fall. A love that gives you hope and breathes your dreams into reality. A love that makes you proud and loves you as you are. A love that no one can take away from you because you are that love that you give. I hope that you are celebrated this month and every day afterwards because you, my friend, are worthy of it and deserve it. Sending all my love to all my cysters and brothers!
By: Mao Vang